Dating · Men

Please, Just Don’t…

This one is actually for the single men out there who have dating profiles.

After chatting with some of my fabulous and single girlfriends, I compiled a list of their shared experiences and added some of my own regarding online dating and men’s profiles.

One of my favorite memes of all time is “So you’re a player? Nice to meet you. I’m the coach.” I don’t mean to coach you fellas, but for those of us single women out there, who have been on an online dating site or app, we probably have been exposed to a multitude of the 15 experiences I’m about to share with you. I’m sure there a lot more I skipped over. Most, if not all the single women I know are seeking to meet decent men, not be played or mistreated. Everything is relative, but if you learn a little something from this, great. Regardless, happy swiping.

  1. Don’t lie about your age on your profile. Just don’t. Starting off with a lie is silly. And if you are lying about that to appeal to younger women or because you look young for your age, what else are you lying about or hiding?
  2. Don’t post pictures that are five plus years old on your profile. We are going to figure it out the second we meet you. I get it; you want to put your best foot forward, and maybe you haven’t changed all that much but keep your photos current. A little secret — you can fight like hell to look and feel young, but you can’t always hide it.
  3. Please, no shirtless photos. That just equals sex. We get it. Boy, do we get it. But do you have to do the duck face in front of the bland, non-interesting bathroom mirror? You have abs…nice abs…really, really nice abs like a washboard and we like that. Hello, we are not dead! However, a little mystery goes a long way.
  4. Don’t post the catch of the day photo. I know you are proud of that fish you caught while you were out fishing with your buddies on that cool boat. However, I don’t know any women who have said, “Wow! I met this guy online. He’s quite the fisherman.“
  5. Don’t say you don’t do drama because that reeks of liking drama. That’s okay. Some people do because it just makes things interesting. If you truly want to be drama free, stay away from using the word altogether.
  6. Don’t lie about your height. Yes, you will find women who will not date a man who is shorter than her. Sorry. They have their reasons and do you want to be with someone who feels that way? Do you?
  7. Don’t lie about your marital status. I get it. People cheat. It’s been going on since the dawn of time. Don’t hide the fact you are still married or “trying out” a trial separation so you can get your kicks. It’s not fair to your wife, family, or the unsuspecting woman who thinks you are single and may genuinely like you. We will figure it out. Facebook is a great research tool. And for those women who don’t care if a man is married or not, that’s too bad. Have a little more respect for yourself, the wife and marriage. Okay, stepping off my soapbox now.
  8. Don’t say your ex-wife is crazy, let herself go, or is a bitch right out of the gate. Does saying that about her make you feel better? Doubtful. It seems like a diversion tactic to blame her, and only her, for your failed relationship. It takes two. You did love her at one time, you married her, and some of you chose to have children with her. Maybe you drove her crazy. Maybe you stopped being supportive. Maybe you stopped caring. Maybe, just maybe you are the crazy one. Okay, I climbed there again — climbing off of my soapbox for a second time.
  9. Don’t lie about when you got divorced. Two years single is the standard these days. In reality, it usually translates to around; I would say, six months. Are you ready to meet someone else, just looking to play or a rebound?
  10. Don’t tell us what you think we want to hear so we will like you. It may be charming on a first date, but soon after, we can usually see through your b.s.
  11. Don’t state your occupation as “entrepreneur” – it usually translates to unemployed or in-between jobs. Be real guys. Entrepreneur of what?
  12. Don’t use an alias on your dating profile. When you create a second Facebook profile under a different name and use that to create your dating profile, it just comes off as fishy. What are you trying to hide? The excuse of keeping your personal life private doesn’t hold water.
  13. Don’t use your dog’s name as your profile name. I get it; you want to make sure women are not objectifying you based on your looks, and they want a deeper connection by reading your profile to get to know the real you. See what I did there? Opposite day. You got me, whatever your name is.
  14. Don’t post photos of your children in your profile. It’s best you don’t drag them into your dating life.
  15. Don’t, and I repeat don’t, debate politics on a first date. It’s fine to have differing opinions, and for some, they enjoy the banter. Don’t get rude and if your date is uncomfortable and voices it, realize it and pick a new topic of conversation. PLEASE! The same can be said about religion. Although it’s good to know upfront what views someone has, a debate is not necessary and frankly obnoxious.

In other words, don’t misrepresent yourself because it all comes out in the wash. It can be rough out there but you shouldn’t have to be a detective to get to know someone. Hey, I’m just a girl, looking at a boy asking him…to be real for goodness sake. Love you all, mean it!

Peace out!

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