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15 Non Resolutions for 2016

2016 is here. Reflecting on 2015, I realize what an extraordinary year it has been. Throughout the world, it was a controversial and violent year full of opposing viewpoints, horrific tragedies, revelations and a much-needed call for change. Personally, 2015 had some high and low points. Mostly high points. I’ve learned a lot about myself, patterns I need to break, my willingness to give people too many chances, trusting my instincts more, and the realization that most people are doing the best they can. If you are like me, you don’t make resolutions per se. Rather, I set a few goals that are more deep rooted in how I want to live my life.

  1. Remember that there are situations in life we cannot control, but we can control how we react and respond to those situations. You can only do so much. I will admit that I’ve grown a little tired of test after test, but the lessons happened and will continue to happen for a reason.
  2. Stop overlooking clear signs that a man is unavailable both mentally and emotionally. Stop thinking you did something wrong or that you weren’t enough. I know it’s not easy to find simple and uncomplicated these days. Unfortunately, life has a funny way of reminding us what little control we have. Be optimistic that a fulfilling relationship is possible. I’ve seen it happen; I know it’s possible.
  3. Trust your gut and judgment when it comes to the men and friends that pass through your life. Some friends are not meant to be lifetime friends, and that is okay. Real friends, which I am lucky to have, will be there always, have your best interest at heart, and will not hesitate when you need them. Men on the other hand. Oy vey! You guys and your silly ways. I still love ya, but you all can be such a pain in the ass at times. My plea to men is that if you aren’t ready to date and are just out there looking for a good time, or are of the mindset that something better is around that proverbial corner, please don’t pull good, caring women into your life. If your intentions are not genuine, and it’s a fling you want, call a spade a spade. On the other hand, if you are looking for someone to make you whole again, that is way too much pressure and responsibility for one person. That starts with you.

I started this blog writing about what to avoid in 2016 and then I thought more about it. 2015 was a transitional year for me, new job, new friends, I met a man I liked, but it didn’t work out, and I removed myself from a few situations that were unhealthy. It got me thinking. I want to make some adjustments to my way of thinking and not just in the new year but overall. Here are 15 ideas of how to start approaching this new year and the years that follow with a new attitude. These are not resolutions, mind you, they are viewpoints on life:

  1. Be grateful for what you have. On January 1st, I joined a group on Facebook, where we post what we are grateful for each day so we can look back at 2016 and remember all the good that happened. There is also a picture diary calendar app called PicCal where you can post and log each photo per day.
  2. It’s okay to walk away from people who try to make you feel less than who you are, or bad about yourself. You don’t need people in your life who don’t appreciate and value you.
  3. Trust your gut — it’s usually right. So, listen more and ignore the warning signs less. Stop defending and justifying other’s bad behavior because you don’t want to be alone or think you can change them.
  4. Don’t set out to purposely hurt someone else. You only hurt yourself. Just because someone didn’t act the way you wanted or expected them to act, that does not mean they don’t care. You may not know what is going on in their lives. Plus, their world does not revolve around yours.
  5. Be more open minded to those who are different than you. It may be the start to a beautiful friendship, and you could learn a thing or two.
  6. Be open to meeting new people. Social butterfly or not, open yourself up to new people and new surroundings. Go to social mixers and networking events. Just get out there.
  7. Try new things. Get out of your comfort zone. Zipline anyone?
  8. Take care of yourself. Workout — it’s good for your body and soul. Eat better, drink more water, stop smoking, and drink less alcohol.
  9. Travel somewhere fun and for longer than a weekend.
  10. Open your heart but don’t give it to someone who does not deserve it.
  11. Forgive yourself, no one, including you, is perfect.
  12. Stop putting pressure on yourself to hit unrealistic goals — start small and work your way up to it.
  13. Know you cannot solve every problem or make someone else happy.
  14. Don’t lie to people who care about you. After a while, doesn’t it get hard to keep track? And if you get caught, don’t expect everyone to forgive you. It comes with the territory. Learn from it. The truth will set you free.
  15. Be happy in your skin. Faults and all!

Love and hugs to everyone! Happy new year and cheers to the start of something new!

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